Sunday, September 25, 2011

Bigfoot Raids Sacred Japanese Temple!

Sorry Sasquatch sighting at famous Buddhist Temple - - Attracted by Giant Sandals? 
Surprised Buddhist Monk Accidently Breaks 53 year Vow of Silence!
The famous, ancient Japanese Kamakura Temple was subjected to kinetic chaos and bad karma for a few incredible hours when a renegade Bigfoot waltzed through the formerly serene temple grounds.
Brazen Bigfoot caught on camera by semi-shocked American tourist at Kamakura Temple.
An eyewitness claimed the apeman was flabbergasted by the huge sandals on display at the temple - - "I think that Monkeyman-san couldn't believe someone else had bigger feet than he did. And that disgusting odor he emitted, aromatic nirvana he was not! 私の神、その猿のものの匂いをした!"
Damage to ancient temple buildings is being assessed by disaster engineers and graffiti experts, "We are hoping the beast only caused minor damage, but a deep fumigation of the entire complex is totally required now".
Shocked Temple visitors wait outside while police search buildings for Bigfoot, in vain.
An elderly Monk, observing a 53 year long Vow of Silence, accidentally broke his vow when bumping face-to-face into the huge, snarling, smelly beast. Temple authorities are quiet about what the Monk actually said, but eyewitnesses said it was the Japanese equivalent of "Well, if that don’t put pepper in the gumbo!" *. 
Under these circumstances, Temple management are considering giving the shocked Monk a pass, based upon the considerable mental shock he received. "Ah-so desukagoing nose-to-nose with a hairy stinky Sasquatch without warning is not like meditation in a Zen Rock Garden! Our beloved Brother Monk is in rehabilitation, and we are optimistic he will recover soon." 
Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the famous YETI not SETI Institute in bustling Yuba City, California, has also vowed to take an Oath of Silence. "Yeah, I had a stupid gag-order slapped on me about a certain rubberized bigfoot incident back in 2008 and a allegedly fraudulent $3,000 payout. That judge has no sense of humor.... I can't talk about that case... No Comment!"

*Unauthorized translation into Japanese: "よく、オクラに唐辛子を入れていないことなら!"

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