Locals in this wild, barren, wild, remote, forbidding, isolated, exiled, lost world, 4G-free region of Northern California are recovering from a shockingly snowy Sasquatch sighting. Tourists have fled the area as law enforcement officers comb the area for the obnoxiously elusive creature and free coffee and donuts.
|Yeti caught on Camera near Mount Shasta.|
|Snowy Sasqautch wrecks million dollar view.|
Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the financially creative YETI not SETI Institute in bucolic Yuba City, California, was beside himself. "I am beside myself! Right here! Yes, I am floating and having an out-of-body experience! That farmer near Mt. Shasta who saw the Yeti sold me some amazing home-made brownies for $3,000, I'm certain there is valuable Bigfoot DNA in 'em. We're conducting in-depth ultra-trace chemical analysis of the brownies for Yeti DNA. I ate one as part of our scientific evaluation, I've always liked brownies! But I'm feeling quite peculiar after eating this one...."