Saturday, April 28, 2012

Lone Star State Sasquatch Sighting!

Terrifying Texas Bigfoot Barges into Serene Summer Camp!

A toxic trespassing Sasquatch has raided Camp Ewok, an idyllic tree-house theme youth summer camp near Navasota, Texas. "That Bigfoot came out of nowhere.", said a camp volunteer, "The beast scrounged through our kitchen garbage cans, I think it was attracted by the strong odors from yesterday's fried chicken strips and french fries group dinner- - those little brats, errr I mean our esteemed paying guests, love greasy fried food stuff. It looks like Sasquatches make bad food choices too."
Reports from eye-witnesses claim the Bigfoot had an bizarre addiction for old half-drunk Big Red soda bottles, greedily gulping down any of this sugary glow-in-the-dark concoction he could find amongst the clould of flies swarming around the smelly kitchen refuse. The body odor of the Sasquatch was described as "stronger than 30 dead skunks", and the cloud of flies eagerly followed the Bigfoot back into the forest.
Texas Bigfoot
Bigfoot Barges into Blissful Texas Summer Camp:
This totally amazing photo was taken at Ewok  Cabin #6
Just hours later, a Texas rancher spotted the Bigfoot on a heavily wooded road just off FM 362 near Camp Ewok. "It was amazing. I was driving down one of my roads to check out reports of scared silly cattle, when this beast ran right in front of me! It happened fast.... I had enough time to leap out of my pick-up truck, set-up my tripod camera, and take just one time-lapse shot before the Sasquatch leaped back into the woods again. Sure I was scared, that was no deer or coyote... it was a 8 foot tall, nasty Bigfoot! A bunch of flies surrounded that Bigfoot, like he was a fly magnet or something."
Lunging Bigfoot seen crossing dirt road near Navasota, Texas. 
Mateo Holohead, Ph.D., an renown expert in Lone Star Sasquatchology at nearby Texas A&M University, was skeptical of local claims that a Bigfoot had been spotted. "I'm sure these people saw something bad and were greatly disgusted, affected and scared by it. But from the description of this animal - - poor hygiene, bad body odor, unfortunate eating habits, lack of self-discipline, etc., I can only conclude that this lost creature was a University of Texas undergraduate, or possibly a tea-sipping graduate professor. Nothing to be scared of, but definitely lock up your rancid garbage!"


Anonymous said...

It is a well known FACT that BIG RED soda and BIGFOOT ALE give out very strong olfactory attractants to Sasquatches. This has been known for some time, just look it up in Wikipedia. Sooooo.... why won't those fancy Bigfoot hunters on cable tv use these as BAIT and FINALLY trap a real, live, Bigfoot? I smell a conspiracy here, somewhere!


Grover C. Thomsen
R.H. Roark
Sun Tang Red Cream Soda Company
Wacko-in-Waco, Texas.

chocolatesquatch said...

I have that same figure, it is nice and good for photos.