Sunday, July 8, 2012

Sasquatch Sighting at Cannery Row - Sardines in Shock!

"Boisterous Bigfoot" spotted by Cannery Row Tourists - - Post Card Sales Plunge!

Monterey city officials are scrambling, groping in the fog, desperate to maintain cheery commercial calm after panicked tourists and John Steinbeck academics and groupies reported sighting a wild Sasquatch roaming Cannery Row, scouring the streets for leftover junk food. No damage was reported, but seagulls and stray dogs reportedly avoided the area for days afterwards.
Amazing photo of loitering Sasquatch at Cannery Row:
The prestigious Monterey Bay Aquarium is rumored to be considering adding a BigFoot Exhibit to
"exploit, errr, promote this popular pseudo-science and separate tourists from their wallets".
"What a shame", said a local citizen, "Before this beast showed up, Cannery Row was a poem, a stink, a grating noise, a quality of light, a tone, a habit, a nostalgia, a dream..... now it's a dirty limerick, a horrible odor, a howling animal, mange-ridden with bad hygiene, a furry nightmare." Row shop owner Eddy Ricketz, however, struggling with his frozen sardine sorbet and gr-eeek yogurt tofu franchise shop on Cannery Row, was perky and upbeat.... "Business hasn't been so good lately, but this Sasquatch thing could be just the ticket! I'm gonna order a case of risque low-brow joke Bigfoot postcards - - I'll sell 'em all to them tourists at full price, you'll see!" 
Dr. Blinng, Director of the almost famous Yeti Not Seti Institute in Yuba City, California, was miffed. "I'm seriously miffed! I have a laboratory, and I am an interesting character, so why hasn't anyone put me into a famous novel which can become a movie and then I can collect royalties? Why? Why?"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You've seen the bigfoot fur flatten and take strange shapes just before it sinks in the forest. Do you have to tell yourself every time that it's an illusion caused by atmospheric dust and light distorted by the sasquatch sea, or do you simply enjoy the anti-beauty of it?

John Steinbeck, Deceased