Sunday, December 16, 2012

Bigfoot Human Hybrid Discovered in Texas!

Shocking Sasquatch Liason Produces Butt-Ugly Bigfoot Hybrid in Texas. 

Sasquatch Sights amazes the world with another earth-shaking Bigfoot discovery.... Sasquatches carry human DNA and cross-breed with humans.

"OK, I admit this is a distrubing and disgusting thought, but hey, our some of our more randy ancestors apparently 'did it' with knuckle dragging Neanderthals thousands of years ago, so why not with hairy and smelly gigantopithicus revoltus too? Of course, none of my ancestors would have been so stupid enough to mix genes with either of these hominid species. I suspect the confused humans which cross-bred with Sasquatches are what we really self-important anthropologists classify as homo sapiens idiotae.", sniffed Briann Lerkee, renown Bigfoot researcher with a Ph.D. ("My degree came beautifully framed, in the mail.") in Sasquatchology at the prestigous Rice-Arrony University in Texas.

Bigfoot-Human Hybrid Spotted in Texas:

Astonishing the world, Dr. Lerkee revealed an amazing photograph taken by Jon Smorris, semi-professional nature photographer and big-game hunter ("I shoot 'em, then I shoot 'em."), when Smorris was lost deep in wild piney forests near Lufkin, Texas. "Man was I scared!" exclaimed Smorris, "That forsaken creature lurched at me from behind a big rock, making goofy wild gestures it wanted junk food, and wanted it now. I threw the beast a granola bar, but he took a one bite, scowled, spit it out, and got even more upset. I was desperate to escape, so I threw the ape-man the only slim-jim I had.... he liked that alot and ran off into the woods. I was so shaken all I could do was take this one photograph. I'm never going back there again! Uh, unless you pay me, of course".
God and Nature Disapprove: Rare Sasquatch-Human
Hybrid seen roaming the backwoods of East Texas.
Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the prestigious YETI not SETI Institute in hyperactive Yuba City, California, was ecstatic. "This is the proof  I needed! I am convinced some of my classmates in high school had something ape-like about them, it all makes sense now. They were part Bigfoot. Why, oh why, did I not take DNA samples from those dumb brutes when I had the chance! Curses!"

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