Saturday, December 13, 2014

Is a Yeti the same as a BigFoot?

Ask The Bigfoot Experts:

"Is a Yeti the same as a Bigfoot"?

Yetis are fierce and annoying.
As self-proclaimed professional experts in Sasquatchology and related academic investigations of crypto-hominids, we at the YETI not SETI Institute get a lot of questions from the public, such as "where is my money?" and "are you guys really as dumb as you look?".

We don't answer those questions. For members of the curious public who thoughtfully slip $10 bills into their post-paid letters, we gladly answer all questions which do not concern legal matters.

Here is recent request from a Ms. Currey Balter living in Pasadena, Texas. Ms. Balter asks "So is a Yeti the same as a Bigfoot?" Ha! What a dumb question! Everyone knows that answer! Thanks for the 2 fivers, by the way.

A Yeti is a Himalayan version of BigFoot. A Bigfoot is a North American version of a Yeti. They are the same, but different. Like anchovies and celery sticks, or Spongebob Squarepants and Bart Simpson, or Nancy Pelosi and Nancy Sinatra, something like that. You know what we mean!

Of course, serious quasi-scientists speculate on the archeo-genetic relationship between these two species of smelly Eurasian and North American crypto-hominids. The endless theories fuel endless conferences at which these experts attend, most of which are in Las Vegas. The YETI not SETI institute always sends delegates to the Las Vegas events... competing conferences in Boise are sort of boring so we don't go.

Our fearless leader and illustrious founder Dr. Karl Blinng has submitted numerous papers to these events but the fools on the conference pseudo-science panels play politics and never approve his requests to present Institute findings.... they keep asking "where did you get your doctorate degree?" which is such a silly, biased, question and quite unfair! Fools! Idiots!

Well, as we were explaining in our elitist condescending manner, the natural range of feral Yetis are found in Central Asia, Siberia, and the Himalayas. Wild Bigfoots are found in remote areas of North America and hang around fast-food joints. Both are equally obnoxious.

Hey Sasquatch Pseudo-Science Fans! Send us your questions!

We'll be happy to ignore them unless financial incentives are attached.

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