Sunday, July 10, 2016

Sedona Scare as Arizona Sasquatch Spotted!

Bigfoot Sighting in Oak Creek Canyon - Slide Rock Evacuated!

Northern Arizona is in prehistoric panic mode as Bigfoot sightings are starting to happen as often as turquoise rock shops in this historical tourist region. A lost hiker in Oak Creek Canyon stumbled upon a Bigfoot in the creek. "The beast was scaring off the fish.", said the shocked camper, "The creature had a foul odious body odor, and the filthy body noises it made frightened birds and wild varmits - - they were running for cover. I was scared senseless!"

Ageing New Age Sedona Denizens are fleeing to local Sedona Vortex sights and walking spiral rock trails in a desperate effort to mellow out from Bigfoot badness. "Staring at their jewel encrusted navels and chanting 'OOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMYYYYGOD' ain't gonna work this time", said a cranky old local resident, "The only solution for them Sedona Sasquatch infestations is to lure the buggers away with day-old fried food and point 'em towards Los Vegas. That trick worked back in '08... 1908 to you, you young whippersnapper!"
Sasquatch caught on camera! The beast spotted in Oak Creek Canyon by a shell-shocked camper.
Erk Holohead, a noted pseudo-expert on the Oak Creek Canyon region and a member of the board of directors for the YETI NOT SETI Institute in exotic Yuba City, California, was deeply concerned. "I'm deeply concerned. Oak Creek is the only river in Arizona which flows year-round, unless you count pipe leaks in Phoenix. Water quality in the creek is already threatened from all those crazed tourists at Slide Rock. Add a few rude Sasquatches doing their 'nature calls' thing in the creek, and we risk having to evacuate the entire Canyon from Flagstaff to Sedona."

Sasquatch Sighted in Coconino National Forest! Locals go Loco.

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