Bay Area Weed Botanists Astounded by Aggressive Bigfoot Sighting!
Mt. Diablo hikers on a precious week-end plant gathering exhibition were attacked by a savage Sasquatch this week. This intrepid blog has obtained precious photos of the actual Bigfoot for only $3000 in cash, small unmarked bills as agreed.
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| Bonafide Bigfoot Attacks Medicinal Botanicals Professional! |
The nature lovers were shell-shocked. Stoned, as it were. "Wadda do you want, punk?", said one of the Mt. Diablo state park nature loving adventurers, "We was strictly minding our own business, see? Yeass, looking for our special crop, er, rare weed specimens for our botanical weed collection, see? Yeah, that's the ticket. Botanical weed collection. So this big hairy ape comes up to us and attacks us, see? I wudda plugged him good right then and 'dere, but that stupid Dr. Blinng was with us. He says 'No don't shoot it! It's an endangered crypotospecies!'...so that no-good ape goes and steals our stash, I mean, he took our precious botanical samples wit 'em. I don't like it, see? The deal went bad. Dat Blinng is gonna swim with the fishies if he don't smartin' up, see?"
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| Mt. Diablo Demon. Authentic Crypto-photograph. |
Dr. Blinng, Director for Life of the YETI Not SETI Institute, is in hiding and cannot be reached. His voicemail says "I'm out. Leave your message at the sound of the tone. I'll reply once the heat is off. Hey, if this call is from Frank "The Enforcer", Hi Frank! I got the money! Just give me a few days, I'm beggin' youse..."
No precious Sasquatch bodily fluids were obtained during this incident, surprisingly.
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