New Orleans Don't Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler After Amazing Bigfoot Spotting!
While Crescent City Hall denizens, Swampy Land Tourism Board members, and sober Bourbon Street saloon owners are attempting a cover-up, our incredible Blog has uncovered the truth! Using skillful journalistic sleuthing skills and a few well placed bribes here and there - - we've learned the awful facts. A Sasquatch invaded New Orleans!
Both locals and tourists were astounded by the sight of a Bigfoot sauntering down Bourbon Street.
"Who Dat?
What Dat?!", said Raimond Faucheaux, a shocked bartender at the Chouteau Jazz House, "I've seen 'em
all over de years... dis town is full of crazy people. But I ain't never seen nutin' like dat furry beast! He smelled really bad, too!"
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| No, gator doesn't taste like chicken. It tastes like Gator. That didn't stop Sasquatch from gobbling gator bits stolen from gastronomically challenged guests at this fine eatery. |
The arrival of the hairy Sasquatch, along with his personal hygiene habits, caused enough commotion and consternation amongst the very inebriated tourists lurking around the area that the
department of health actually SHUT DOWN BOURBON STREET for 15 minutes at 5 AM, taking care to clean the normally rancid street with extra enthusiasm, in order to remove all traces of Bigfoot bodily functions. Not missing a great marketing opportunity when they smell it, several local establishments created competing versions of a "Bigfoot Cocktail" - - both new drink creations apparently having over 20 shots of different liquors blended in some fiendishly diabolical manner. Hospitals are standing by.
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| Curious Bigfoot perplexed by inanimate Big Mardi Gras Ape... Bingly Beads also confused the bedazzled beast. |
Dr. Blinng, Commander-in-Chief of the world famous YETI NOT SETI Institute in sober Yuba City, California, was miffed. "I'm miffed! I
finally get invited to a serious Sasquatch Conference here in New Orleans to make a presentation in a nice local bar... my paper reveals the amazing facts concerning our years of novel research into the primeval connections between Bigfoots, spoiled Parmesan Cheese, and Ancient Alien Astronauts. OK, yeah I had to pay for the hotel and airfare, but I got breakfast for free and and a
free Hurricane during the social hour! It was only after drinking that amazing concoction that all heck broke loose out on Bourbon Street. All that yelling! I jumped up from my bar stool to see what all the shouting was about and blacked out... it must have been the jet lag. Once I recovered, it was 3 in the afternoon and all that valuable Bigfoot feces and DNA evidence had been washed down the sewers, gone forever.
Mon Dieu, I was soooooo close this time! Oh well. Bartender, another Hurricane please!"
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