Sasquatch Versus Jogging Gang at Dive Bar! Run Away!

Inebriated Sacramento Joggers Astounded at Bigfoot Runner Confrontation! "Worse than a half-marathon!" 

Eye-witness accounts of a health-conscious Sacramento Sasquatch in full Bandit Runner Mode. He was also headed in the wrong direction. 

Sacramento Police barely averted a aerobically juiced riot when a savage ultra-marathoner Sasquatch barged into a notorious dive bar known to be frequented by weekend jogger gangs. A risky recipe for civil behaviour disorder!

 

Having Fromage malodorant accompagné d'un mauvais vin does not go well with Bigfoots nearby.

 

Patrons at the Joggers Bar, having jogged a weekend fun run, were busy drinking bad wine and eating bad cheese. The atmosphere was already tense and full of repressed violence. Attracted by the malevolent odors of mauvais fromage et vin de piètre qualité en décomposition, a ultra-marathon running Sasquatch was distracted from his 'run' and barged into the dive Joggers Bar, looking for the source of these (for him) delectable refreshments. 

 

"I hit the wall when that hairy running poseur showed-up. Seeing that beast steal our gourmand dishes was worse than the most irritating chafing of my groin area when jogging 4 block marathons!" A carefully paced bar fight was averted when the intruder grabbed a chunk of ancient cheese, a dusty wine bottle complete with screw-top, and darted out to rejoin the ultra-marathon race being held nearby. "The moron went in the wrong direction.", smirked a jogger-gang leader, "He's probably searching for a double cheeseburger with fries. Say, that's not a bad idea. Let's go, gang!"  

 

The marathon posing Sasquatch held a threatening unidentified object in its hands before snatching his precious jogging snacks. "French bread carbs can really hurt a jogger!" said a scared eye-witness.

 

Kiki Dumpster, a newly hatched bored member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute, located in runner's high Yuba City, California, was doping on Bigfoot. "I'm doped! That's why I always win my over-a-certain-age class fun runs! Listen, I was there when that smelly marathoning animal barged in. It's lucky it left when it did, otherwise that mob of drunk joggers in the bar would have left the sandbagging Sasquatch with a nasty charlie horse!"