Barça Bigfoot Cauterizes Catalunya!

Pànic a la ciutat! Barcelona Bigfoot Spotted in Barcelona!

A gaudi Bigfoot creeping past a Gaudi Building in Barcelona. 

Mobs of drunken Barcelonès in Catalan crowded the streets and drank profusely after rumors of a savage Sasquatch roaming the city streets swept the metropolitan area. "To be honest, it looked sort of like another day in Barcelona", said an expat resident, "But this time it was different... this time there was a hairy ape-man stealing rancid fried greixons from food carts! I saw the thief myself. Actually, I smelled him first - - from a block away". 

Tourists and Locals alike were in shock at the Sasquatch sighting. 

Local authorities were quick to blame the national government. "This beast is obviously an unwanted import from Espanya. We Catalans would never harbor such a foul animal in our midst!", proclaimed a local Alcalde. An official from the Basque Region was quick to respond, and also blame the national government - - "Don't blame us Basques! That dumb ape-man is not a Basajaun. Basajuans are much more clever and intelligent, because they are Euskara!" For good measure, the national government blamed the national government. 

This amazing blog has tracked other amazing Sasquatch sightings in Spain, all of them amazing:

http://bigfootwatchnews.blogspot.com/2011/05/spanish-sasquatch-sighting.html

http://bigfootwatchnews.blogspot.com/2009/08/bilbao-bigfoot-binges-on-modern-art-at.html

http://bigfootwatchnews.blogspot.com/2009/07/bilbao-bigfoot-attacked-by-giant.html

http://bigfootwatchnews.blogspot.com/2009/07/sasquatch-in-spain.html

Que Dios tenga piedad de España.

 

Bigfoot Spotted in East Bay Hills!

 Lafayette Reservoir Radioactive as Suspected Sasquatch Stools Sustain Ongoing Panic!

An alarming Bigfoot sighting at the Lafayette Reservoir Recreation and Deep Sea Fishing regional park has forced authorities to close the area until further notice. Local residents are on a boil-water notice for tap water. Mysterious black helicopters stuffed with 'little green men' have swarmed the site to 'investigate' the incident. 

Captured on a remote Park Camera, a Sasquatch triggered this astounding photo of a Sasquatch moving through heavy woods, marking his territory in the usual way.  

Sasquatch caught stalking a soon-to-be-hysterical hiker at the park. 

Eyewitness accounts claimed the beast was superficially peaceful, while sullen and obviously belligerent. "That hideously hairy humanoid was busy marking his territory", lamented one park day-tripper. "The clinging stench was like cat-pee times one hundred!" 

Divot Looney trapped yet again by another nasty Bigfoot!

Amateur Bigfoot hunter Divot Looney was hiking in the area when he was cornered by a Sasquatch, yet again. "This Sasquatch thing happens every damn time I foolishly agree go fly fishing or go look for extremely rare butterflies to impale on collection boards for that imbecile Dr. Karl Blinng. I just don't get it!" said Divot, dimly.  

A fisherman trying to hook the rare Lafayette freshwater Sword Fish was rudely interrupted when the beast stole his fermenting bait.  

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director for Life of the YETI not SETI Institute in hydrated Yuma City, was coincidently at the Reservoir during the Sasquatch scare. Always with an eye towards the advancement of science, Dr. Blinng attempted to illegally collect extremely rare and endangered mosquitos. Blinng was also on the lookout for random Bigfoot DNA samples. He was sadly crestfallen. "I'm very demented and disappointed. I thought those urea infused marked trees and impressively mysterious piles of scat laying around were real Sasquatch calling cards. No! They were in fact 'souvenirs' of that Looney guy. When Divot saw that feral Bigfoot he literally s**t in his pants! We had to sneak out a side trail like common criminals to avoid a significant California EPA fine! Why we ever let Divot join the Bored of Directors is beyond me. Oh wait... he bribed us and he's playing his role perfectly. Never mind!"

Malo BIG Bigfoot Adventure at Costa Maya Mexico!

Sasquatch Spotted at Tourist-Trap Cruise Ship Port in Mexico - Chaos Erupts!

A rare Mexico Bigfoot sighting shocked fleecing locals and liquified cruise ship passengers during a big escape inside the heavily touristified Costa Maya Cruise Ship Port. Mexico Border Patrol officials suspect the beast came from one of the multiple cruise ships which crowd the harbor, and escaped by the same route. "¡Ay, caramba! That hairy ape was a Gringo Bigfoot all right! It snuck into stores and bars, broke touristy merchandise, drank too much touristy tequila. The animal even tried to swim with the touristy dolphins without a ticket. ¡Era una cosa muy mala, y muy maloliente!"

CCTV footage released late in the week clearly shows an unidentified 'suspect' pondering the sight of 3 cruise ships parallel parked at crowded but packed Costa Maya.   

"Every effort is being made to find and remove this unwelcome, and what's worse, unpaid passenger from whichever unlucky cruise ship it has stowed away on. The cruising industry will not tolerate Bigfoots, Stowaways, Covid, or icebergs!" exclaimed a harried spokesman for the Global Association of Unflagged Cruiseships, GAUC. 

Iguana Attack! Sasquatches consider Iguanas as delectable as Tender Chicken, unfried. 

Fueled on stolen Margaritas at a beach-side Cantina, the ferocious beast jumped into a Cage Wrestling Match ready to fight anyone or anything. With a clear sense of self-preservation all Humans quickly vacated the premises, taking their tropical adult beverages with them.
  

Attempting to keep passengers calm and blissfully unaware a stowaway Bigfoot might be on board, a "Safety Drill" was held for all unlucky ships in port. In reality the drills were massive man-hunts, er, ape-hunts on the suspect ships while docked at Costa Maya. The wily creature was not found, leading to speculation it was either well-hidden onboard one of the ships or had run away and purchased a great time-share condo deal in Cancun. 

Experts from Mexico's Crypozoological Institute, El Instituto de Criptozoología Morónica, carefully searched the entire area where the beast was spotted but came up with nothing conclusive. "We found an Iguana who looked a little stressed, but no Sasquatch footprints found." 

Erk Holohead, a bored member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute in Not-Tropical Northern California, was sympathetically indifferent to the Cruise Ship Port of Costa Maya and the Cruise Ship Industry. "Costa Maya is such a charmingly synthetic tourist trap place. Built in a lightly populated region for the sole purpose of pumping dollars out of cruise ships and into the local economy. It works perfectly! That Sasquatch stowaway sighting is hopefully just a one-off incursion. I hear these cunning beasts prefer Cozumel or Cancun. As for the cruise ship industry, this is just one more cruddy challenge faced in 2022... lingering Covid Variants, mysterious CDC guidelines, paranoid port closures, and now another regrettable Bigfoot incident. Things will get better! I mean, how can they possibly get worse?"

Sasquatch Sighting at Yosemite Falls!

 Bigfoot Spotted Near Yosemite Falls! Hairy Creature the "John Muir Sasquatch"?!

A frosted fly-fishing amateur sobered up quick when he came face-to-face with a feral Bigfoot this week in deep snow at the base of Yosemite Falls - - unleashing a torrent of multiple ancient alien astronaut expert theories regarding the Sasquatch's origins and connections to John Muir and Teddy Roosevelt. 

The wretched Yosemite fly-fisherman was having bad luck that day. "I wasn't getting a bite. What with the lakes and streams frozen over, my precious flies were just bouncing around on the ice. Bad timing, I guess? Well, when I tried to console myself with a healthy swig from some of my 80-Proof Stoli Russian Anti-Freeze this bear-like ape-man ran out of the woods and snatched my bottle! I'm done with fly fishing in Yosemite! I think I'll try Death Valley out in July instead... yeah that should be some great fishing."

Deeply Mysterious Photo found in the trash bin archives of John Muir upon his death in 1914. 

Cryptozoology experts are excited about Yosemite and Bigfoot. "I'm excited!" said Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-For-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute in snowy Yuba City, California. "There have been hushed rumors for years about John Muir and Teddy Roosevelt encountering a Sasquatch during their famous trip to Yosemite Valley in 1903. Amazingly I was able to find an extremely rare photograph taken by Muir of an obnoxious Sasquatch that photo-bombed Muir's million-dollar shot. I only paid $3,000 in Byte.me.Coin. I found this jewel of a photo on the internet... it was a steal!"                  

Teddy Roosevelt and John Muir standing by a suspected Sasquatch footprint in 1903.

A famous photograph of Teddy and John's Big Bigfoot Yosemite Adventure shows what looks suspiciously like a Sasquatch footprint in the background. It's there somewhere! The famous expedition was cut short after the discovery of the beast's gargantuan paw print. "Bully!", allegedly exclaimed President Roosevelt, "If I'd only brought my Elephant Gun! Flummadiddle!"

The John Muir Museum and Historic Site could not be reached for comment. The Teddy Roosevelt Museum and Historic Site did not return our phone calls. The YETI NOT SETI Institute, however, has been spamming this highly respected blog with promotional emails, texts, and pleas for donations in cash or Bo.Gus.Coin. 

Placervil Bigfoot Beats Court Rap!

Sasquatch wins Court Case with No Contest Plea and Courtroom Escape!

In a dramatic courtroom incident worthy of cringe-watching crime drama, a 'diabolically clever' Bigfoot managed to beat the rap and escape justice at the Placervil Courthouse, where the career-criminal furry-felon faced multiple charges of public nuisance, petty theft, and air polluting violations.  

Ricard Scheister, the 'acting' defensive lawyer representing the snarling beast, had just entered his usual nolo contendere plea for all 14 charges. When the Judge was about to declare an expectedly harsh sentence for repeat violations, the hairy defendant made a rude hand gesture to no one in particular, manically laughed, and suddenly leaped out a courtroom window.  The defendant was gone before the courtroom guards were wakened from their afternoon naps. "This thief is the Moriarty of Bigfoots!", declared the judge. "Get that Hairy Brigand!" 

A courtroom attendee looking suspiciously like the accused was seen near the Courthouse minutes after the Bigfoot's amazing escape. 

"It was the blizzard of flies which gave him away", said a local crime reporter who saw the beast running... "Those nasty flies followed him like a cloud!" It's assumed the criminal bigfoot is now in a nasty hideout somewhere in the Sierra Nevada foothills, awaiting the opportunity of resuming his evil plans to steal rancid fried foods, scare little old ladies, and terrorize yapping little ankle-biting dogs. 

WANTED: BIGFOOT! 

The hollywood celebrity defense lawyer Ricard Scheister was incensed by his erstwhile defendant's actions. "I'm not incensed that he escaped punishment. No, he deserved to have the book thrown at him! No, I'm very incensed that I didn't get paid! That moron Dr. Blinng from the Institute promised full payment for legal services rendered. Now it's turning into another one of those idiotic pro bono Sasquatch cases. I'll teach Blinng... just see if I answer the phone the next time he needs bail-bond money at 3 in the morning!"

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-For-Life of the Yeti Not Seti Institute, was shocked at the Placervil courtroom antics. "That is the last time I'll put the Institute's good name at risk defending a Bigfoot! We'll stick to our usual financial fraud schemes... nolo contendere always works!"

Roatán Ruckus From Sasquatch Sighting!

 Rare Caribbean Bigfoot Spotted on Roatán Island! Cruise Ship Connection? Locals Languid!

Roatán Coxen Hole and East End Islander residents were astounded to see a large odorous Bigfoot scamper through town and into the local hills. "Dat foul hairy beeest came out of nowhere!" said a local island tour operator. "Frightened the Tourists and the Monkey La-La lizards to death. Very bad business!" 

Island Sasquatch spotted at Dixon Hill Tourist Trap. Roatan Rum sales shot up 400% after the sighting. 

The local authorities quickly blamed the Cruise Ship Industry. "Why not blame the Cruise Ships? Everyone else does!", exclaimed the Municipal Mayor, "Dat Sasquatch is a scoundrel and a stow-away!" Such unfortunate Caribbean cruise ship incidents have happened before, including a recent Bigfoot raid on Grand Cayman. "It's a major worry - - what if that cunning creature is stuck on our island?!" said another local. 

The Roatán Bigfoot pondering his next move. Coxen Hole denizens are worried. Did the beastie manage to find its way back to an unsuspecting cruise ship? Any unsuspecting cruise ship? Please?

Erk Holohead, a fully paid up (crypo currency, suckers!) Director of the Yeti Not Seti Institute, had a word of caution for the cruise ship industry. "Be careful. Be very careful! First it was the notorious norovirus plagues, then a bad at-sea plumbing fiasco, then the Covid-19 pandemic, and now Sasquatch infestations! What's next, free drink package offers?! The industry's challenges are formidable." The Yeti Not Seti Institute is located in phlegmatic Yuba City, California, where there are absolutely no cruise ships in port at the present time. 

BIGFOOT SPOTTED AT FRENCHIE LAUNDRY IN VINO COUNTRY!

Sasquatch Sighting at Fancy Fufu Frenchie Restaurant! Director of YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE misses Creature Again! Guvenor Rabid Gruesome NOT SEEN near vicinity! 

Breaking News! Too Much Information to make intelligence of it all! Ideal for our purposes...

A rare Bigfoot with fine culinary tastes has recently been spotted lurking near the famous Fancy Frenchie Culinary and Political Tinderbox "The Frenchie Laundry". The restaurant is carefully curated in the Youtville, Calyfornia wine country. An esteemed guest during this amazing incident (not the Guvenor) was no other than the infamous Dr. Karl Blinng, the Napoleon of  Sasquatchology. 

Dr. Blinng has an bonafide Ph.D. degree in Cryptozoology which he received in the mail. Blinng is the Director For Life of the YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE. 

Shockingly, Dr. Blinng missed his big chance to actually see the hairy creature with his own eyes. Witnesses claim he was distracted. "It all happened so fast! I'd brought some shirts to be laundered and lightly starched. Then that dang beast blasted through the area and was gone! Curses, another opportunity wasted after a lifetime searching for this malodourous beast! I blame my worthless minions for this disaster. There WILL be consequences!"

Dr. Blinng misses yet another sighting of the elusive Sasquatch. "I was admiring the fascinating cement used for the rock wall." was the Director's excuse. 

The frenchified house of repast and laundry service currently enjoys an esteemed Three-Michelin rating. A favorite on the menu is the famous 3 Pounder Bacon-Cheeseburger smothered in Merlot-Infused Escargot. Fried Onion Rings are extra. French Fries are not served, as they are actually Belgian and not French. The recent Sasquatch sighting is not expected to lower the Wine Country Diner's well-earned Michelin rating, although a decidedly unwelcome Nasty Bigfoot Rating (NBR) will rise from 0.0 to 1.0. 

Ancient Alien Astronaut & Bigfoot Experts are speculating as to why this coastal Bigfoot and Guvenor Rabid Gruesome were not seen at the same time during this amazing Sasquatch Sighting. "It is bizarrely curious... I mean look at the hair of the Guvenor, and look at the hair of a Bigfoot. There is a lot of hair on both them. Coincidence? You Decide! Er, you politicos out there can call me for more sensitive information and consulting regarding this entire matter. I charge by the minute..." pontificated Ricard Scheister Esq. and a member of the Bored of Directors at the YETI NOT SETI Institute.

Winnemucca Wild With Weirdness From Bigfoot Sighting!

 Sasquatch Smashes Winnemucca Casino and Championship Horseshoe Tournament!

Wonderful Winnemucca is home to many amazing things. Such as... ahhhhh.... give us a minute! 

Oh yeah, Bigfoots!

Winnemucca residents and tourists were whipped-sawed when a wild Sasquatch strolled into town, looking for dumpster filled delicacies such as old french fries, mystery meat nuggets, and other choice fast food menu items. While conducting his curious culinary search, the beast disrupted normal activities across the width of Winnemucca's massive metropolitan area.

Hairy Bigfoot gambling with his life at a local Casino. 10-1 odds he escapes back into the hills again. 

One loyal patron playing the slots at a local Winnemucca Casino saw the fragrant beast dash into the diner, grab an armful of old spaghetti and soggy hotdogs from the kitchen garbage bin, and quickly bolt out again into the wild. "It was amazing! I actually stopped pulling the lever on my lucky slot machine, downed my scotch, and forgot to light another cigarette! I think that ape guy thought the place was called 'Wieners'. They can't read so good, you know."

It was 'Dead Shoe Time' when the beast crashed the International Winnemucca Horseshoe Pitching Championship. A player caught the beast with an incredible photo before passing out in shock - - shock and being hit on the head by an errant horseshoe.

In a historic sports disruption which will be forever recorded in the annals of professional Horseshoes, the Sasquatch decided to investigate the world famous Winnemucca Champions League Horseshoe Tournament while a highly competitive game was in progress. 

Tension was high. The Sunncity Pensioneers were about to tie and pass the reigning champions, the Medicare Marauders. Then Bigfoot barged in. Total Panic ensued! Complete Chaos commenced! The mass confusion came to an end only when one of the players, totally distracted by the mangy monster, accidently released his horseshoe high into the air. The crowd ran for the exits to avoid the impressively high but rapidly falling chunk of iron. A senior referee was hit on the head by it, but as he had a hard skull little damage was done. After things calmed down and everyone took their places again, it was discovered the mysterious Sasquatch had disappeared. But he managed to vanish along with all the Snack Bar's stale and wilting tuna fish sandwiches ready to sell to unsuspecting spectators. "That animal stole our fishy snack booth goodies and profits!", said an angry but haughty Horseshoe Hostess matron. 

Dr. Karl Blinng, Chairman-for-Life at the YETI NOT SETI Institute, was triple whammied by the beast's beastly appearance. "Good golly gosh. Here I was visiting Winnemucca for a wonderful research project and my plans were totally wrecked. I had glorious plans to research Winnemucca casino gambling odds by engaging in probability experiments at the Blackjack table. I had plans to research the nature of horseshoes, physics, and beer consumption. And I was looking forward to visiting the "The Ring Circle", the old red light district in town... for purely scientific endeavors, I can assure you!"

Perilous Panama Bigfoot Sighting at Avenida Balboa!

 Aromatically Formidable Sasquatch Ruins Sunday Outings for Local Panamanian Denizens! 

Sunday morning is usually the only time of the week when frazzled residents of Panama City, Panamá can enjoy strolling and riding bicycles on Avenida Balboa without risking certain death from a never ending procession of cars, taxis, buses and renegade raspao carts. But not this Sunday! Thanks to a rare Bigfoot sighting in the city, general panic erupted and the entire area was shutdown while the police looked for the hairy and very sweaty creature. "We couldn't find the beast, again." said a local traffic cop. "These creatures are wily and elusive. Entonces, that is our official excuse anyway."

The Bigfoot was spotted along the Cinta Costera by a terrified tourist. "I smelled it before I saw it, unfortunately."

A local caught a foto of the Bigfoot waving at people gaping at him in shock from the Marina. "These poor guys at the Marina were yelling and screaming and pointing at the beast. I think that dumb creature thought they were waving at him, so he waved back! Then he stole my raspao, the furry cad!"

To add insult to olfactory injury, the monster appeared to sniff his armpits "with satisfactin" when he spotted an underarm deodorant advertisement on Avenida Balboa. "That beast definitely doesn't use a deodorant!", exclaimed a traumatized local. Doctors say the poor victim's nose will recover in a few months.

Why has Sasquatch returned to Panama City? Speculation abounds, but it is thought by certain local university professors in Cryptozoology (a popular class with Freshman looking for an easy grade) that as restaurants reopen from the Covid lock-down, the smells of fried foods have attracted the beast to venture down from the hills surrounding the city. 

Erk Holohead, a delinquent member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute bored of directors, has a special theory regarding Sasquatch and Panamá. "Look. It all adds up. Like 2+2=7. This Sasquatch is incognito. The monster probably has warrants for his arrest all over the place for petty food theft, public health violations, and other amazing crimes back in the States. The FBI want to 'talk' to him. A lot of Gringos from the USA and Canada are moving to Boquete, which is also an attractive habitat for hairy ape-men. Some of these gringos may have seen this Bigfoot in North America and could ID him in an instant. That big Ape has gone to the big city to hide out until the coast is clear. Plus, it loves fried foods. Can't resist 'em." 

Sasquatch Sightings at the Sacramento and American Rivers!

Frazzled Fly Fishermen Frightened at Sasquatch Fandango!

Reports have rapids-ly stream-ed in of numerous Bigfoot incidents involving clueless "Catch and Release" fly fisherman performing their dark fly-fishy arts by the Sacramento and American rivers. 

Fish and Fly Fisherman flee in terror at sight of bad Bigfoot on the American River.

"It was FIENDISH. The Bigfoot, I mean, not the trout I was stalking. I was using my new hand-made hi-tech tse-tse larvae-fly. It was a beautiful fly. My precious! It had 5G GPS and moved like one of them UFO water-drones you read about on respectable websites. The damn Sasquatch ate it! I mean it ate my fancy fly AND the fish! Total disaster... a entire day of fishing and $150.00 lost, gone, vamoosed."

Savage Sasquatch Sneaking Caught Fish at I-5 and the Sacramento River.

In what can only be an incredible coincidence, a second Sasquatch interrupted another fabulous fly fishing frenzy on the Sacramento River. "Ya. We wuz fishing in a nice idyllic spot near Redding, underneath the lovely I-5 bridge when this savage Bigfoot came oouut of the shadows and grabbed our trout and ran off! Just like that. THIEF! CROOK! SCOUNDREL! We called the police and they just told us to go to a Jolly Roger Restaurant and just order a Fish-Fry sandwich like everyone else if we wanted fish that bad. 

A Redding police spokesman confirmed this advice. "We get these Bigfoot incidents every year involving fanatical fly-fisherman. Eh, all fly-fisherman are fanatical. As a public service we tell these fly fishing fools that it's a hell of lot easier to go order a McFishy Sandwich than go out into a dangerous river area infested with snakes, Sasquatches and Fresh Water Sharks. Oh yes, there are FRESH WATER SHARKS in the Sacramento River! You've been warned." 

The YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE did not return our phone calls for comment. Their answering machine said they were out fishing.