Friday, September 18, 2009

Blinng Drops Bombshell at Press Conference!

Giant Lizard Spotted in California Wine Country!
YETI Not SETI Institute Director Announces Discovery.... BigFoot Link Suspected.

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the almost famous YETI Not SETI Institute in Yuba City, California, made a stunning announcement today during a hastily arranged press conference at the Yuba City Holaday Innn, claiming proof that a giant lizard is roaming the northern California coastal range. Blinng displayed a photo received by email "from a trusted and reliable source, proving the existence of a Japanese Monster Lizard living in Sasquatch Territory". The three journalists who attended were dumbfounded with awe... "That lunatic actually thinks this stuff is real!" whispered a junior reporter.

The incredible photograph was taken by an eyewitness, Krass Ffffelps, a well-known jug wine vinologist. According to Mr. Ffffelps, the helicopter pilot barely escaped becoming Lizard Lunch. When questioned about possible doctoring of the photograph, Dr. Blinng fiercely responded, "Any fool can see this is authentic. I only paid that Krass guy $3,000 for this precious photograph... what a dupe he is, what a steal! This discovery is one of the crowning achievements of my illustrious career! Oh yes, they laughed at me in University, but who is laughing now, eh? The fools!"


Anonymous said...

How dare this blog or that wack quack Dr. Blinng drag my good name into this silly BigFoot mess.

I am a not "monster lizard"... no, no, no! I am a fire-breathing, mutated, prehistoric, reptilian creature whose size has been amplified by past Frenchie Hydrogen Bomb test explosions in the South Pacific. I like to squash Japanese cities and I live under Tokyo Bay, thank you very much, not your wimpy wine country in California. What fools... where is my press agent when I need him?!


Godzilla, Retired

KarlBlingPhD said...

I've been searching for this lizard for decades. I've been yearning to use it as the secret ingredient on iron chef. We all know of course tha sasquatch is putrid and inedible, but the lizard is so radioactive, the meat practically cooks itself!! I must find this Krass Ffffellps to find the right wine to pair it with. California, heer I come!

M. Morimoto.

Anonymous said...

Chairman Kaga, Iron Chef Japan Host, with dramatic flair: “The Challenge Today for our carefully selected Iron Chefs comes as a gift from the sea…... unless you were dumb enough to get trampled first! Ha Ha Ha! Here it is... GODZILLA MEAT!”

Kenji Fukui: “The Japanese Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto is smiling ear-to-ear! Ichiro-san! He likes this selection! It's Sushi City time!”

Shinichiro Ohta: “Yes, but the French Iron Chef Hiroyuki Sakai looks crestfallen, and has just made a big pout face and a gaullic hand-gesture. He is now shrugging his shoulders… how do you make a soufflé out of THAT carcass?”

Iron Chef Japan:
Godzilla Gourmet Battle!