Sunday, October 18, 2009

British BigFoot Strikes Again!

Manchester "Man-Ape" Evades Heavy Police Dragnet at Piccadilly Station... Sasquatch Prefers First Class.

BigFoot spotted again in central Manchester, sparks frantic ape-man-hunt by police.

Erk Holohed, a passenger on the Manchester 17:30 Virggin Train to London, took this amazing photo of BigFoot hiding out in the first class car, eluding animal control officers and train station security.

"There I was, reading the Financial Tymes - - it may be pink but it's not red! Get it? Not 'red'? Ha ha ha ha ha ha! A little capitalism joke there. Right. So I put the FT down to grab my usual double bloody-mary from the table and promptly receive the shock o' me life! That hairy ape-man was sittin' right across from me! The odour radiating from that beast was quite beyond description, really. Enough to make one swear off tomato juice forever. The hairy man seemed anxious, and kept glancing out the window at all the security types running around - - like he was a fugitive on the run. I figured he was a Chelsea football fan, or another Yank billionaire looking to buy a Premier club. When the train pulled out of the station I looked up but the creature was long gone, only the stench remained."

Virggin Trains could not be reached for comment, but released a short statement that the first class carriage involved "is being systematically decontaminated, cleaned, sterilized, fumigated, irradiated, re-upholstered and incinerated, and will return to normal service in a fortnight after health inspector approvals."

Manchester BigFoot Takes Revenge Upon Local Pigeons!

Just hours before the Piccadilly Station police alert, a local shopper took this incredible photo of the Manchester man-ape roaming Piccadilly Gardens. "He wuz just hangin' around the square when he spotted them pigeons - - he suddenly turned quite nasty and mean - - deliberately scarin' them poor pigeons and makin' faces at them. Now our poor Piccadilly pigeons are quite edgy and traumatized. I think that bigfoot beast has a grudge against Manchester pigeons! Like he was takin' revenge on 'em for some reason. Them pigeons and that sasquatch creature really don't get along, to be honest."

1 comment:

KarlBlingPhD said...

I'm sending Joe Bob and Elmer to investigate the British Sitings.
They are great at determining if this is a sasquatch or just another Belgian tourist.

I'm busy touring the wine country with some guy named Morimoto. Keeps babbling something about the Chairman and Godzilla sushi rolls.
I've hired Krass Fffellps for a mere $3000 again to hunt for the lizard. I think the lizard was scared out of the vineyards by some sasquatch aroma. Preferred radioactivity in Tokyo to Bigfoot Breath.