BIG EASY FEELING QUEASY AFTER BIGFOOT SIGHTING!

New Orleans Don't Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler After Amazing Bigfoot Spotting!

While Crescent City Hall denizens, Swampy Land Tourism Board members, and sober Bourbon Street saloon owners are attempting a cover-up, our incredible Blog has uncovered the truth! Using skillful journalistic sleuthing skills and a few well placed bribes here and there - - we've learned the awful facts. A Sasquatch invaded New Orleans!

Both locals and tourists were astounded by the sight of a Bigfoot sauntering down Bourbon Street.
"Who Dat? What Dat?!", said Raimond Faucheaux, a shocked bartender at the Chouteau Jazz House, "I've seen 'em all over de years... dis town is full of crazy people. But I ain't never seen nutin' like dat  furry beast! He smelled really bad, too!"

No, gator doesn't taste like chicken. It tastes like Gator. That didn't stop Sasquatch from gobbling gator bits stolen from gastronomically challenged guests at this fine eatery. 

The arrival of the hairy Sasquatch, along with his personal hygiene habits, caused enough commotion and consternation amongst the very inebriated tourists lurking around the area that the department of health actually SHUT DOWN BOURBON STREET for 15 minutes at 5 AM, taking care to clean the normally rancid street with extra enthusiasm, in order to remove all traces of Bigfoot bodily functions. Not missing a great marketing opportunity when they smell it, several local establishments created competing versions of a "Bigfoot Cocktail" - - both new drink creations apparently having over 20 shots of different liquors blended in some fiendishly diabolical manner. Hospitals are standing by.

Curious Bigfoot perplexed by inanimate Big Mardi Gras Ape... Bingly Beads also confused the bedazzled beast. 

Dr. Blinng, Commander-in-Chief of the world famous YETI NOT SETI Institute in sober Yuba City, California, was miffed. "I'm miffed! I finally get invited to a serious Sasquatch Conference here in New Orleans to make a presentation in a nice local bar... my paper reveals the amazing facts concerning our years of novel research into the primeval connections between Bigfoots, spoiled Parmesan Cheese, and Ancient Alien Astronauts. OK, yeah I had to pay for the hotel and airfare, but I got breakfast for free and and a free Hurricane during the social hour! It was only after drinking that amazing concoction that all heck broke loose out on Bourbon Street. All that yelling! I jumped up from my bar stool to see what all the shouting was about and blacked out... it must have been the jet lag. Once I recovered, it was 3 in the afternoon and all that valuable Bigfoot feces and DNA evidence had been washed down the sewers, gone forever. Mon Dieu, I was soooooo close this time! Oh well. Bartender, another Hurricane please!"

Irritating Icelandic Panic as Sasquatch Sighted on Ísland!

Bigfoot Spotted By Waterfall Sodden Tourists! Iceland Erupts!

The sudden and unwelcome appearance of an Sasquatch in Iceland has shaken the volcanic island to its core, causing concern amongst the tourist classes. "Ya sure", said a somber Danish tourist, "We waz looking at yet another barren volcanic hill and another waterfall, when along come this mad hairy creature, out of nowhere! It stank to heaven, and proceeded to raid our delicious sardine-boxed lunch kits, the brute. It ran off stinking of fish and God knows what else!"

Sasquatch in Iceland! Sasquatch skoðað á Íslandi!

"This is worse than the Eyjafjallajokull volcano eruption, except I can pronounce 'Sasquatch', said a local Íslendingur, "We thought Bigfoot was a hoax, but no more! Ég er mjög undrandi yfir því að svona loðið dýrið myndi ráðast inn á Ísland."

Is History Repeating Itself?

The Bigfoot was spotted again later in the week, at the site of a 1973 plane crash. The crashed C-117 has been kept in a state of pristine near-arctic collapse, as the old wreckage helps to alleviate the rather predictable volcanic surroundings. 

Bigfoot Coverup? You Decide!

Dr. Blinng, Chairman-For-Life of the YETI-NOT-SETI Institute of Cryptozoological Studies, has an amazing theory about the 1973 crash. "It was a cover-up! Pure and simple! I like simple! The CIA was ferrying a Sasquatch to Iceland for the Cold War, as it was rumored the Soviets had trained a Yeti squadron for Arctic assignments. But something went wrong. Something went VERY wrong, and the doomed plane crashed. The CIA hastily abandoned the project. The KGB gave up on using Yetis soon after, with rumors abounding of an abominable environmental catastrophe at the Arkticheskiy Institut Islands (Острова Арктического института). Both savage species are untrainable and cannot be house-trained! It was a recipe for disaster."

The local Icelanders, ever so Nordic and phlegmatic, assume the hairy beast is a lost real estate agent from North America, looking for a house-flipping success after unsuccessfully trying to buy Greenland.

Hairy Mt. Diablo Demon Terrorizes Local Mobster Mary Juana Farmers!

Bay Area Weed Botanists Astounded by Aggressive Bigfoot Sighting!

Mt. Diablo hikers on a precious week-end plant gathering exhibition were attacked by a savage Sasquatch this week. This intrepid blog has obtained precious photos of the actual Bigfoot for only $3000 in cash, small unmarked bills as agreed.

Bonafide Bigfoot Attacks Medicinal Botanicals Professional!

 The nature lovers were shell-shocked. Stoned, as it were. "Wadda do you want, punk?", said one of the Mt. Diablo state park nature loving adventurers, "We was strictly minding our own business, see? Yeass, looking for our special crop, er, rare weed specimens for our botanical weed collection, see? Yeah, that's the ticket. Botanical weed collection. So this big hairy ape comes up to us and attacks us, see? I wudda plugged him good right then and 'dere, but that stupid Dr. Blinng was with us. He says 'No don't shoot it! It's an endangered crypotospecies!'...so that no-good ape goes and steals our stash, I mean, he took our precious botanical samples wit 'em. I don't like it, see? The deal went bad. Dat Blinng is gonna swim with the fishies if he don't smartin' up, see?"

Mt. Diablo Demon. Authentic Crypto-photograph.

Dr. Blinng, Director for Life of the YETI Not SETI Institute, is in hiding and cannot be reached. His voicemail says "I'm out. Leave your message at the sound of the tone. I'll reply once the heat is off. Hey, if this call is from Frank "The Enforcer", Hi Frank! I got the money! Just give me a few days, I'm beggin' youse..."

No precious Sasquatch bodily fluids were obtained during this incident, surprisingly.