Bigfoot spotted in San Diego! Demented Denizens Disbelieve Their Affronted Eyes.
Encinitas, California locals, Venezuelan Cartel members, and tourists alike were shocked to see what appeared to be a bizarre bona-fide crypto-creature ambling thorough the dazed streets of this idyllic Pacific Coast town. |
An amazed tourist caught a Bigfoot in camera, minutes after a "Bigfoot Poop Alert" Map was hastily updated in Encinitas, California. |
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The creature appeared smitten and puzzled by a day-of-the-dead maiden statue. "I think the beast was working up the courage to ask her out on a date. The aroma of old fried tortillas eventually distracted him away." |
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Bigfoots and Refried Beans: An unfortunate combination! |
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Sasquatch spotted at the statue of Spanish Explorer Juan Cabrillo. Speculation has long swirled around Cabrillo - - did he discover Bigfoots, or just California beach bums? |
Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the YETI-NOT-YETI Institute located in the surfer's paradise of Yuba City, California, had some Sasquatch theories to share. "I have some theories to share. I conceived of these brilliant theorems all by myself, after extensive thought, cold pizza, and a bottle of top-shelf tequila. Namely, Juan Rodríguez Cabrillo was himself a bigfoot! Who else but a Sasquatch would squander his massive fortune searching the parched coast of Southern California for water, food, and crushed ice? Then eventually die from a broken leg on Catalina Island?"
My other genius theory is just a brilliant. The SoCal Freeway system was designed and implemented by Bigfoots! Nothing else can explain the I-405. Absolutely nothing."
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