London Thrown for a Loop by Bigfoot Train Spotter!

Scary Sasquatch Observed at St. Pancras and Victoria! Harrods Hectic from Ape Man Visit!

Multiple eyewitness sightings and camera footage indicate a mangy North American Sasquatch has descended upon London to wreak rotten wrack and ruin. "All superficial resemblances to the current President of the United States are not valid. We've spotted a real-life bonafide Bigfoot in Central London! The animal can apparently travel on trains and the Tube. It has an Oyster Card! Rigorous precautions are being taken. We urge the general public to NOT PANIC whilst this simian emergency is ongoing. We'll let you know when it's time to panic.", said the distracted Metropolitan Police Commissar Bark Wrufley. 

Mysterious Sasquatch seen at Victoria Station! It is suspected the beast took a local commuter train to Eastbourne, third class.

Harrods Under Siege!

Not only does this Bigfoot travel on trains, it apparently 'shops' at luxury department stores! Harrods became the target of the Sasquatch when it roamed through the massive 25 square-mile store and became utterly lost. "The Monkey Man carries neither cash or credit cards, he is not our normal customer profile. He eagerly raided the Food Halls and ran out with £500 worth of Foie Gras & Truffles tins. Good taste on that one. Our security team could never catch him. We trailed the apeman by his distinctly dank and unpleasant odors until we hit the 50 square-mile Perfume Halls... our sense of smell was completely overwhelmed by the heavy onslaught of £1,000 fragrances... one of our security team passed out. We lost the hairy devil at that point. I still can't smell right!", exclaimed a Harrods store detective. 

Security Camera spots the dazed and bewildered Bigfoot wondering aimlessly about Harrods, desperately attempting to escape the multiple 500 square-miles of Women's Shoes Floors.

Window-Shopping Sasquatch near Harrod's on Brompton Road.

Escape to Paris?

London authorities are baffled regarding the current whereabouts of the creature. It is feared the beast will strike again. While a photo from a digusted Frenchman shows the Bigfoot apparently on the Chunnel Train headed to Paris from St. Pancras, nothing is being taken for granted. "This beast knows how to use the Tube, take trains from Victoria Station, and shop at Harrod's. Yet this Sasquatch simian has absolutely no concept of personal hygiene! I fear it will return to haunt us. It may be here now!" 

The disgusted Frenchman on the Chunnel Train had just a few words to say on the monkey matter: "Bleu sacré! Ces Anglais sournois causent encore plus de problèmes! Restez simplement hors de l'Union européenne, comme vous le souhaitez!"

Sasquatch marauding in Paris next? 

Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI Not SETI Bored of Directors, passed a warning on to Londoners. "I'm afraid England has been the scene of multiple Sasquatch sightings over the years, from Manchester to Mayfair. This Bigfoot is a wile beast with the ability to lay low, survive on old fish & chips, and travel at will. I hear rumors of it lurking around London landmarks. We're not done with him yet!" 

 

Recorded Bigfoot Sightings in England:

 

Queen's Train crosses paths with British BigFoot - -
Sasquatch Security Cover-up Denied!

 

BigFoot spotted again in central Manchester, sparks frantic ape-man-hunt by police.

 

Manchester Man-Ape Mystery: UK Sasquatch Spotted and on the Loose in England! Mancunians Gobsmacked by Hairy Intruder in Central Manchester...