¡Increíbles estupideces! Bigfoot Sightings in the Southern Cone! Argentina Blames Chile Blames Brazil Blames Argentina!

Patagonia Pummeled by Odoriferous Mangy Sasquatch! Iguazu Falls Drys Up from Bigfoot Blunders!

A seriously wayward North American Sasquatch has caused a series of regrettable multinational 'incidents' deep within the Southern Cone of Latin America affecting Chile, Brazil, and Little Italy (otherwise known as Argentina). 

Patagonia Glaciers Despoiled by Chill Bigfoot:

A busload of naive tourists who payed big bucks to take a promised tour of Copacabana Beach during the infamous Rio Tanga Swimsuit Season were heartily hoodwinked and cheerfully diverted onto a nature tour deep into the freezing wastelands of temperate Patagonia. One perma-frosted North American attempted to take a photo of a huge glacier field when the Bigfoot barged right in front of his camera. "I was photo-bombed! That beast came up to me asking for unhealthy food choices! Fortunately I had some old pork rinds in my pocket. That kept the furry monster busy and I could make escape back onto the bus. I'm pretty sure we weren't in Rio de Janiero anymore?"  

Bigfoot encounters Iguazu Falls. 

Iguazu Falls Flatulence Flattens Tourists at now desiccated landmark!

The same busload of confused tourists were taken to a major landmark between Argentina and Brazil, the world famous Iguazu Falls, even though the tour guided stated they were visiting the Amazonia city of Manaus. "You know", said another dazed tourist, "I'm beginning to think booking this cut-rate local tour operator was a mistake? I mean, this looks nothing like Montevideo?" 

In an amazing coincidence yet another tourist's photos were photo-bombed by a Sasquatch! "Hey, that falls was a great water show! Better than Niagara or that time I had a water pipe burst on the second floor of my house. But when the water stopped the Falls were bone dry! What happened? Did we forget to tip the River Management?" The blockage of the Iguazu falls was quickly determined to be a chaotic dam thrown-up with old tires, pork rind bags, and matted mangy fur. "It was a dangerous Bigfoot that blocked the river! Between the tires, bags, and the beasts own loose hair, a dam quickly formed. Fortunately we were able to unblock the smelly mess with three tons of dynamite. We only needed 40 pounds of explosives... por qué no... but what the heck. We drank a case of Yatay Liqueur and had some fun!", exclaimed a rather relaxed Argentine Park Ranger. 

Sasquatch hiding in Patagonia?

It is suspected the Bigfoot has retreated deep into Patagonia. Patagonia is a hospitable region of the world famous for large cosmopolitan cities with 24 hour pizza delivery, vineyards, parrilladas, and charming blasting winds coupled with brutal antarctic temperatures which can deep-freeze a live elephant in 35 seconds. A dead elephant in 25 seconds, so we've been told. Dr. Karl Blinng, an expert on Patagonia, Sasquatches, and Frostbite, had some icy comments on this theory: "Fools! Patagonia is no place for man nor beast. Even crypto-beasts! OK, so if YOU were a Bigfoot, which would you choose? Teeming Buenos Aires with a million poor fried food choices to steal... errr liberate... OR a frozen wasteland where one can't even get a soggy day old frozen empanada? I rest my case. This gringo Sasquatch is hiding out in Argentina. He'll be back!"