Sasquatch infiltrates Buenos Aires! "Malos Aires" in the breeze!
As feared, a disgusting gringo Bigfoot beast entered the formerly glorious Argentine city of Buenos Aires after his unpleasant escapades in balmy Patagonia.
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| Amazing photo of the simian searching for ageing left-over Choripán at street cafes. |
"Ese mono simplemente caminaba por nuestra calle y cogía lo que le sobraba de las mesas de los restaurantes. ¡No tenía vergüenza! ¡Parece que él tampoco tiene papilas gustativas!" said a traumatized local attempting to enjoy his afternoon merienda in peace. Translation: "That monkey animal simply walked down our street and took whatever left-over food he wanted from restaurant tables. He had no shame! Apparently he has no taste-buds either!"
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| Sasquatch getting into the waving game at Restaurante La Biela. |
The Bigfoot was fixated by over-sized statues gracing the entrance of the Restaurante La Biela in central Buenos Aires. He aped (of course he would do that) the statues by waving at all passer-byes. "Our business, she drop-a 50, no 75, NO 100% when that crazy monkey stood outside!", exclaimed a shocked manager.
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| Crypto Beast Meets Mystery Meats! |
Ham? Beef? Mutant Chicken Legs? Rhea? Whatever this meat was, Bigfoot was entranced and hungry.
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| Sasquatch lurking near the statue of General Manuel Belgrano. |
Dr. Karl Blinng, President For Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute in the Pampas region of Yuba City, California, was mortified. "I'm mortified! This beast was lost in the icy wastelands of Patagonia. I honestly thought we'd never see that stupid big Ape again. But look! He's hanging around Buenos Aires causing trouble! How did this dimwit crypto-creature get to Argentina in the first place? Walking through the treacherous Darien Gap, across the icy Andes, and through the vast malarial Amazon? I don't think so. He's dumb, but not that dumb. I'm confident he smuggled his way to the Southern Cone by ship or plane. He doesn't have frequent flier miles, that's for sure."
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