New Bigfoot Sightings in the Redwoods! Get High and Space Out?

Sasquatches Spotted in California Redwoods! Antique Hippies and Evasive Marijuana Farmers Stoked Up!

Incredible Bigfoot Sightings have started piling up around Humboldt Redwoods State Park like so much, er, cork-wood. Concerned locals not connected to bigfoot tourist business in the region are starting to, like, FREAK OUT, man!

A hairy hiker caught this hairy Bigfoot scampering across the Redwood Forest. "The beast was either hunting lunch or was on a fun run!", exclaimed the amazed day-tripper. 

Bigfoot Pack scouring the Humboldt area?

Aromatic physical evidence in the form of scattered dung heaps is rapidly piling up on the forest floor. "Yep, it looks like a gang of these rascally bigfoots are scouring the area - - looking for old human food, unhealthy snacks, and cannabis plants!", surmised a perturbed park ranger. "It's rare to see this hominid group behavior in the wild, but then again anything about a Sasquatch is rare!"

Sasquatch Gang captured on remote forest camera before shutting down! The camera was reportedly disabled by copious amounts of Bigfoot urine. 

Local Bigfoot Tourism Jumps:

The recent Bigfoot sightings have sparked a rebound in the regional Sasquatch Tourism Industry. "Hey this Bigfoot scam, er business, is a lot better than selling pork rinds and cheap beer!"

Bigfoot "Odeur de Cheveux grass" sales up 75% at certain select quality Sasquatch theme convenience stores. Why this is happening, and who is buying them, is a mystery we don't want to solve. 

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the pesky, make that persistent, YETI-NOT-SETI Institute issued a major press release from his Yuba City headquarters. "Hey folks, don't be fooled. Those bigfoots spotted running around the Redwoods are real! I am raging with anger at the Bigfoot Convenience Store industry, however. They refused to sell heroically posed 1/14 scale statues of ME in their stores. What idiots! These imported statues are made of the finest virginal resin plastics, lovingly sprayed with gold glitter for a stunning impact. My name is glorified on the pedestal. Every home needs one!"

Erk Holohead, COO, CFO, CMO, O-NO, and keeping a low profile to comply with a recent IRA audit, announced plans to sell the glorious leader statues directly to an adoring public. "Yeah. Well. Right. So... we have around 10,000 of these amazing statues stuffed in boxes in my garage. We're going to announce a special 3-for-1 sale soon. Perhaps a 10-to-1 sale. Credit Cards, Debit Cards, and Cash are accepted as payment... especially Venezuelan Bolivares."