Sasquatch Spotted in Amish Country!

Local Amish and Noisy Tourists Bothered by Bigfoot Sighting in Pennsylvania Dutch Country!

 Lancaster County Pennsylvania is well known for its Amish folk, intrusive tourists, and the world's largest buffet - - the Shady Character Smorgasbord. What it hasn't been known here are obnoxious smelly Bigfoots, but that happy fact is rapidly changing for the worst. 

The Simian was caught on camera trying to board a tourist bus headed towards a large all-you-can-eat buffet. It had no ticket and was refused entry. 

Throughout the Pennsylvania Dutch Country, reports of animals acting strangely were common. "Horses, goats, cows, dogs, cats, squirrels and gerbils have a special aversion to the smell of Sasquatches, you know", an Amish farmer pontificated, "However, the pigs seemed to enjoy the company". 

Bigfoot Buggy Thief!

Police stated that several horse buggies were stolen by the adventurous Apeman, but he didn't get far. "Them horses weren't going to pull that mangy beast if they could help it!", said an officer, "That monkey man had to abandon ship and hoof it to the forests to avoid detection. He had an arm load of suspicious looking old scrabble with him. My guess is that his stomach can handle it!"  

Dr. Karl Blinng, President For Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute located in the heavily Deitsche town of Yuba City, California, had an opinion on this event. "I'm opinionated. My opinions carry great weight in the Sasquatch Research Community. Just ask me! Anyway, these sighting in Amish Country are remarkable. Also remarkable is that I haven't tried fresh Scrapple yet!"