Placervil Bigfoot Beats Court Rap!

Sasquatch wins Court Case with No Contest Plea and Courtroom Escape!

In a dramatic courtroom incident worthy of cringe-watching crime drama, a 'diabolically clever' Bigfoot managed to beat the rap and escape justice at the Placervil Courthouse, where the career-criminal furry-felon faced multiple charges of public nuisance, petty theft, and air polluting violations.  

Ricard Scheister, the 'acting' defensive lawyer representing the snarling beast, had just entered his usual nolo contendere plea for all 14 charges. When the Judge was about to declare an expectedly harsh sentence for repeat violations, the hairy defendant made a rude hand gesture to no one in particular, manically laughed, and suddenly leaped out a courtroom window.  The defendant was gone before the courtroom guards were wakened from their afternoon naps. "This thief is the Moriarty of Bigfoots!", declared the judge. "Get that Hairy Brigand!" 

A courtroom attendee looking suspiciously like the accused was seen near the Courthouse minutes after the Bigfoot's amazing escape. 

"It was the blizzard of flies which gave him away", said a local crime reporter who saw the beast running... "Those nasty flies followed him like a cloud!" It's assumed the criminal bigfoot is now in a nasty hideout somewhere in the Sierra Nevada foothills, awaiting the opportunity of resuming his evil plans to steal rancid fried foods, scare little old ladies, and terrorize yapping little ankle-biting dogs. 

WANTED: BIGFOOT! 

The hollywood celebrity defense lawyer Ricard Scheister was incensed by his erstwhile defendant's actions. "I'm not incensed that he escaped punishment. No, he deserved to have the book thrown at him! No, I'm very incensed that I didn't get paid! That moron Dr. Blinng from the Institute promised full payment for legal services rendered. Now it's turning into another one of those idiotic pro bono Sasquatch cases. I'll teach Blinng... just see if I answer the phone the next time he needs bail-bond money at 3 in the morning!"

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-For-Life of the Yeti Not Seti Institute, was shocked at the Placervil courtroom antics. "That is the last time I'll put the Institute's good name at risk defending a Bigfoot! We'll stick to our usual financial fraud schemes... nolo contendere always works!"