Sasquatch Bashes Baja! Cabo Crunched!

 Bigfoot Scare at Cabo San Lucas!

Mexico has been hit again by a rare but strangely persistent incursion of a nasty Bigfoot, this time afflicting the tourist city of Cabo San Lucas. "Cabo", or "Cartel" as many call it, is a well-heeled resort town situated on the very bottom tip of the dry-as-bones Baja Peninsula. How a forest loving creature like a Sasquatch made it down to Cabo is a mysteriously misty mystery. 

Visitors to a Gravel Yard, err Zen Garden, at Nobu Los Cabos were shocked to find that not only had the rocks had been moved helter-skelter, but a savage Sasquatch had done the dirty deed!

The Bigfoot caused quite a ruckus roaming the beaches and resorts in Cabo. Eye-witnesses said the beast has a propensity to grab ageing half-eaten fish tacos stuffed with jalapenos and melted cheese, overly fried yucca strips, and warm stale beer in bottles left sitting in the sun. "The beast is omnivorous.", sniffed a visiting gringa dietician, "But his healthy food choices were very bad!"

The Sasquatch was caught roaming around in an all-inclusive resort. Partial refunds were given to guests immediately after the intrusion in order to avoid cancellations and nasty social media posts by disgruntled tourists . 

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the YETI not SETI Institute in balmy and freeze-dried Yuba City, California, commented on the amazing Sasquatch sighting. "I was there you know. In Cabo. Cabo San Lucas. Yep. ¡Olé! I'd finally been invited to a serious scientific conference on the anatomical origins of hanging earlobes and the impact upon earwax in the great Apes. This area of research is a great interest of mine. Actually I registered online and they took my money... not a lot of esteemed personas like myself attend such important scientific meetings, you know. Anyway they took my registration fee and I scored a free stale beer and a fishy taco during the welcome reception, HA! But curse it all, I missed seeing the Bigfoot, not even a filament of odorous hair or curiously mysterious body fluids. Such is life, I guess. Así es la vida. Well, time for another cerveza or maybe one of those fancy drinks with the umbrellas on top!" 

Alas, Mexico has been hit with Bigfoot incidents before: 

BigFoot Mexico Mayhem - - Mexico City on Alert!

Mayhem in Mexico as BigFoot Bungles USA Border Relations

BigFoot in Mexico City?

Malo BIG Bigfoot Adventure at Costa Maya Mexico!

Sasquatch Sighted at Pyramid Lake!

 Perplexing Bigfoot Panic at Pyramid Lake! 

Confirmed* reports from Nevada's Pyramid Lake bring the astounding news that a bonafide Bigfoot was spotted at sunset prowling the shore looking for leftover fast-food delicacies. "I was gobsmacked, flabbergasted, aghast!", said a perturbed fisherman, "The sun was going down over the lake, a crescent moon was out, and there was moonshine for everyone. I prefer mine at 150 proof, thank you very much. Well there we were enjoying the scene and our dinner cooking. Suddenly this hideous ape-man came out of the darkness, waltzed by our camper, and napped our freshly caught Lahontan cutthroat trout! He left behind the Cui-ui Lakesucker fishies behind... the Cad! The brute ran off into the desert. We heard coyotes howling later on. They sounded distressed, like they'd encountered something very odiferous."

It came at Sunset! The moonshine helped the aromatic creature navigate naughtily during its theft expeditions.

A member of the Paiute Tribe, whose reservation surrounds Pyramid Lake, gave some historical perspective on Sasquatch. "We see Bigfoot as a gentle well-behaved creature. He's not scary. We see him as a benevolent protector, a harmonious son of nature. Naaaaaaa, who am I kidding? We just tell that old fable to the children so they're not scared all the time!"

Pyramid Lake is just like Lake Tahoe except it's in the high desert, has a few living trees and other scattered vegetation, is essentially barren, wholly desiccated, rather desolate and... er, maybe it's not like Lake Tahoe? The lake is known for famous fish and seriously fanatical fishermen. The unique lake area is heavily used by movie studios as a stand-in for the Sinai Wilderness, the Sahara Desert, post-apocalyptic scenes in general, Star Trek planets, and planets involving apes. Burning Mannequin festival attendees travel through the area to nearby Black Rock Desert, which can easily fit all the luxury glamping RVs required to rough it. 

*Some demented fly-fisherman we know.