Super Scary Sino Sasquatch Spotted at Forbidden City and Tianamen Square! Politburo Perplexed! China Blames Japan.
Beijing citizens are nervous after random sightings of a "disgusting Yeti like creature" occurred at Tianamen Square and the Forbidden City. Burdened Bejing city officials are calling for calm, promising to find and capture the strange mangy ape animal which caused unwelcome disruption, pandemonium, chaos, but great photo ops for hundreds of tourists and souvenir hawkers.
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Bigfoot in Beijing? The brave photographer who took this incredible photo
fainted from the fumes emitted from the beast and was hospitalized. |
Hu Dat, a local purveyor of irregularly sized "I saw the Great Wall" t-shirts to confused foreign tourists, saw the bigfoot beast up close; "Nasty! Make me mad!", said Hu, "Tourists get scared! Run away! Whimps! This Yeti thing bad for business, very bad!"
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| Yeti-like ape-man roaming the Forbidden City. |
An Americanski businessman visiting the Forbidden City, Erk Holohed, saw the furry creature enter the Forbidden City. "So I'm in Beijing on an important business trip, right? So everyone says 'OHHH MAN, YOU HAVE TO SEE THE FORBIDDEN CITY!', so I go right, expecting to see an incredible, historical marvel. But what did I see? An ugly, hairy and smelly bigfoot right in front of my face! Once you've smelled one of these things, the stink doesn't leave you... like a dead skunk. That beast ruined my trip. I hope they catch him - - then sell his fried hide
as dinner at the
Wangfujing night market next to the baked scorpions-on-a-stick."
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Sasquatch Sighting at the Hall of Supreme Harmony.
Scared eyewitnesses said the encounter was neither supreme nor harmonious. |
A local Beijing city official, who asked to remain anonymous, was relieved the Bigfoot sighting didn't occur in 2008. "Can you imagine this nasty creature causing trouble during the Olympics?", he said nervously, "That would have been a disaster. Who knows what personal hygienic damage he would have done to Birds Nest Stadium!"
Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the YETI not SETI Institute in exotic Yuba City, California, immediately called an emergency press conference at a local Jack-in-the-Box restaurant to exploit, errr, explain this amazing Sasquatch sighting in China. "This is not the first time this crypto-creature has been spotted in China. I of course take full credit for predicting this sighting. Please buy my new book, "
Genghis Khan was a Bigfoot", now available at Amazon for the Kindling Reader, just $2.99 a copy. Please?".
Authoritative Pseudo Scientific Resources on Bigfoot, Sasquatch and Yeti sightings in China:
